Monday, July 27, 2009

How To Fart And Not Get Caught - II

Oh good, the launch pad (the poop ‘n’ pee place u *#@^) is free. And whoopee! There’s no one around. But! What’s that noise? Maybe you’re imagining things. Remember, when you’re all filled up and ready for release, there’s a chance that the gases could, you know… get osmotic.

Wait! You heard it wrong. It’s OSMOTIC. Not ASTHMATIC. Which means you won’t choke on your gut fumes. It’s just a postulate that it might fuddle your brains a wee bit, making you hallucinate. So you might go “What’s that noise” and all that. Now the explanation is complicated. Besides you’re in no mood for it, remember?

You’ve got business to do, so lets get rolling.

No. No. Not your eyes. That’s no way to release pent up gaseous fury. Dude, did you just try passing wind through your eyes? Momma! We better get down to the expulsion bit then. You must be ready to explode to try something like that!

Ok. Ok. That fierce nodding says it all.

Now get your butt into a cubicle. You done? What?! Why’s the rest of you out! “Butt into cubicle,” means your whole frame into it. You need to shut the door, remember.

To be continued…