Best of Rajesh Rajoo

Imagine you have this pencil that can make people hiccup. Or build flatulence or make them wince or twitch or wink or yawn! All you need to do is write down on a piece of paper the desired action while you picture the face of your victim. Sounds like roaring fun, ugh? Imagine combining these twitches and winks and precipitating them at random or by design. That would be particularly handy at office meetings, wouldn't it? Picture this. Mr. Self Important has just strutted into this terribly important meeting, late as usual. He thinks it makes a big impression. He's all fake smiles and then as he sits down he quickly explains it off with a "wasn't feeling well this morning... had to drag my self here." 'Hrump!' you sniff to yourself and write 'Flatulence' on your pad. Mr Self Important suddenly goes pale with the wish-I-weren't-here look. You would too if you were in his shoes, trying mightily to stifle a fart in public. That should fix him for a...

Let’s suppose the drug stores in our locality dispensed Glum Pills over the counter that would make you morose and wretched in about twenty minutes of ingestion. And that there is a mad scramble for it. Everybody want’s it for their own reason. Would it be something like this one described below? Your ‘ex’ is in town unannounced. She didn’t know she’d be coming until the last moment and then there wasn’t time for a grand announcement. But she’s in town now and you can’t keep a straight face. You’re all smiles and delicious anticipation. As you’re shaving you catch yourself smiling ear to ear. When your wife walks in with tea it’s all you can do to feign nonchalance. But the wife, like all wives, reads something in your face. You see it in her eyes and you hastily yet slickly evade it. And catch yourself in the mirror again. “Eeeeks!” “That me?!” Why is my face all contorted into a… why do I look like something that deserted a cat’s chow bowl in a tearing hurry, you wonder, trying despe...